Last month, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs confirmed the nerve agent used in the attack was delivered in liquid form. Police had previously said they believed the pair had been poisoned at the front door of Skripal’s home as specialists found the highest concentration of the nerve agent on the door.

Almost 200 military personnel in protective suits and boots will spend months decontaminating nine sites in the town.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/may/04/skripals-poisoned-by-novichok-in-liquid-form-watchdog-says

So the story changes again. The Skripals must have been sprayed with Novichok rather than having been exposed to it through its being smeared on their front door handle by Russians trained in the art of door knob smearing. That makes so much more sense and explains the nine hotspots. But hang on .. Were the Skripals sprayed nine times with a lethal fast acting nerve agent in nine different places or were they sprayed once and trailed the lethal fast acting nerve agent around with them to nine different places? Perhaps there was a Russian with a water pistol following them from place to place and continuially missing until that one last time. It’s a miracle no one else was harmed by this stupendeously clumsy assassin.

“Alice laughed: “There’s no use trying,” she said; “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

I sometimes wonder if the point of this theatre of the absurd is to condition us to believe all the improbable and impossible arguments that the government wants to sell to us.

BTW The Wikipedia definition of ‘Theatre of the Absurd’ is jarringly relevant to our current situation:

The Theatre of the Absurd (French: théâtre de l’absurde [teɑtʁ(ə) də lapsyʁd]) is a post–World War II designation for particular plays of absurdist fiction written by a number of primarily European playwrights in the late 1950s, as well as one for the style of theatre which has evolved from their work. Their work focused largely on the idea of existentialism and expressed what happens when human existence has no meaning or purpose and therefore all communication breaks down. Logical construction and argument gives way to irrational and illogical speech and to its ultimate conclusion, silence.